If I Do Decide One

I Remember When I Was A Teenager Thinking My Girlfriend Was Cheating On Me, And Going Around Riling Myself Up. Pretending To Cry. It Was Totally Illegitimate-i Actually Didn't Feel Anything. I Went To Some Pub And Then Went Crying All The Way Home. And I Got Into My Dog's Bed. I Was Crying And Holding On To The Dog. I Woke Up In The Morning, And The Dog Was Looking At Me Like, 'you're A Fake.'

I Don't Really Understand It Even Now, It Does Have An Angle Which Is Attached To Something Quite Primal In Girls. I Guess People Want It To Define Them, Like 'i'm A Twilight Fan.' That's Crazy To Me. I Think People Really Just Like Being Part Of A Crowd. There's Something Just Tremendously Exciting About Hyping Yourself Up To That Level.

Up Until I Was 12 My Sisters Used To Dress Me Up As A Girl And Introduce Me As 'claudia'! Twelve Was A Real Turning Point For Me As I Moved To A Mixed School, And Then I Became Cool And Discovered Hair Gel.

I Was Just Taking Out My Trash And I Had, Like, 300 Cans Of Diet Coke. It Was Just Like, 'how Did That Happen?' I Don't Even Remember Buying Them. I Also Like Cinnamon Toast Crunch. My Addictions Are Pretty Much The Only Things I Consume.

I'm A Lucky Person. Thank God. And I'm Conflicted. Thank God.