If Barbara Walters Was Interviewing

I Don't Know Why Songwriters Struggle. They Have To, I Guess. If You're A Young Songwriter, Quit Struggling. It Makes You Look Bad.

I Have My Own Religion. I'm Sort Of One-quarter Baptist, One-quarter Catholic, One-quarter Jewish.

My Theory Is If You Have A Religion, It's A Good One. Because Some People Don't Have Any At All.

A Monkey Was The President, Though Maybe Not The First. And There Was Peace And Harmony Throughout The Universe.

Religion Is A Strange, Wonderful Thing. More Crimes Have Been Committed In The Name Of Righteousness Than Any Other Notion.