If An Englishman Gets Run

They Call It Football, But The Object Of The Game Is To Bash The Other Guy So Hard That He's Eventually Carried Off The Field On A Stretcher. I Can't Watch Football Anymore. My Psychiatrist Said It's Better That Way. I Used To Watch A Game, See The Players In A Huddle - And Think They Were Talking About Me.

It Is Easy To Tell The Difference Between Jews And Gentiles. After The Show, All The Gentiles Are Saying 'have A Drink? Want A Drink? Let's Have A Drink!' While All The Jews Are Saying 'have You Eaten Yet? Want A Piece Of Cake? Let's Have Some Cake!

My Father Was A Very Successful Businessman, But He Was Ruined In The Stock Market Crash. A Big Stockbroker Jumped Out The Window And Fell On His Pushcart.

Hillary Clinton's Life Has Been Filled With Corruption But Nobody Cares.

Prostitutes Go To Jail. Their Customers Go Home And Read The New York Times. In This Country You're Allowed To Buy Anything. If You Need A Shirt, You Have A Right To Buy It. If You Need Sex, You Don't. What's More Important, Sex Or A Shirt?