If An Englishman Gets Run

A Person Who Speaks Good English In New York Sounds Like A Foreigner.

My Grandfather Always Said, Don't Watch Your Money, Watch Your Health. So One Day While I Was Watching My Health, Someone Stole My Money. It Was My Grandfather.

If An Englishman Gets Run Down By A Truck He Apologizes To The Truck.

My Material Is As New As Anything On The Dinner Table. What Difference Does It Make If I'm 70 Or If I'm 20? The Audience Knows They Aren't Getting Any Old Stories From Me.

Did You Ever Hear Of A Kid Playing Accountant - Even If They Wanted To Be One?