If A Tree Falls On

By Shrewdly Linking Procreation To An Act Likely To Make You Stupid With Excitement, God Has Seen To It That Life Does Indeed Go On. It's Possible, By The Way, That This Is Why God's Name Comes Up So Often In The Middle Of The Act; It's A Salute To The Author: Hey, Whoever Made This Up - Thanks.

A New Child In The House Is A Huge Tourist Attraction. It's Like Disneyland, Except There The Lines Are Longer And No One Brings Casseroles.

We Had The Boy's Name Picked Out, But We Didn't Have A Girl's. When He Turned Out To Be A Boy, We Were So Relieved. Literally, In The Middle Of Contracting And Pushing, And With My Wife Being Drugged - Out And Half - Lucid, We Were Still Coming Up With Names.

I Can't Get Past The Fact That Food Is Coming Out Of My Wife's Breasts. What Was Once Essentially An Entertainment Center Has Now Become A Juice Bar.

In Fact, I Had The Idea Because Of Peter Falk. I Saw My Dad Watching A Peter Falk Movie And Something Clicked In My Head. I Gotta Go Make A Movie For Peter Falk And Me