If A Man Is Wise,

Th' Newspaper Does Ivrything F'r Us. It Runs Th' Polis Foorce An' Th' Banks, Commands Th' Milishy, Controls Th' Ligislachure, Baptizes Th' Young, Marries Th' Foolish, Comforts Th' Afflicted, Afflicts Th' Comfortable, Buries Th' Dead An' Roasts Thim Aftherward.

What's Wan Man's News Is Another Man's Throubles.

Th' Dead Ar-re Always Pop'lar. I Knowed A Society Wanst To Vote A Monyment To A Man An' Refuse To Help His Fam'ly, All In Wan Night.

To Most People A Savage Nation Is Wan That Doesn't Wear Oncomf'rtable Clothes.

Vice Is A Creature Of Such Hideous Mien... That The More You See It The Better You Like It