I'd Never Buy My Girl

It's The Kind Of Game That Makes You Go Home And Beat Your Wife.

I Was Asked For Years About Being A Republican, Probably Because Most Black People Are Democrats. My Mother Heard It Once And Called Me And Said 'charles, Republicans Are For The Rich People.' And I Said, 'mom, I'm Rich.'

If I Weren't Earning $3 Million A Year To Dunk A Basketball, Most People On The Street Would Run In The Other Direction If They Saw Me Coming.

My Initial Response Was To Sue Her For Defamation Of Character, But Then I Realized That I Had No Character.

If You Are An Ugly Woman, You Have No Chance Of Getting A Tv Job.