I Wouldn't Want To Try

I Have The Feeling Of This Completely Alternative Person I Should Have Become. There Was Another Life That I Might Have Had, But I’m Having This One.

The Book Was At A Reasonably High Position On The New York Times... Before I Was In The Country. I Thought It Would Be An Interesting Experiment To See If My Presence Here Would Push It Up Or Down.

I Quizzed Him A Lot On This Point And I Suspect The Truth Was That It Was Like A Lot Of Things At That Age: You Don't Have Any Clear Reason, You Just Do It. You Do It Because You Think It Might Get A Laugh, Or Because You Want To See If It'll Cause A Stir. And When You're Asked To Explain Afterwards, It Doesn't Seem To Make Any Sense.

I Couldn't Speak Japanese Very Well, Passport Regulations Were Changing, I Felt British And My Future Was In Britain. And It Would Also Make Me Eligible For Literary Awards. But I Still Think I'm Regarded As One Of Their Own In Japan.

I Still Have A Suspicion Of Charity And Think The State Has A Role To Play In Many Areas. And Although For Most Of The Years Since I Have Been A Rather Privileged Writer, I Identify More Closely Than Perhaps I Should With Those Social Workers. Had I Not Become A Writer That Would Have Been Me. Lots Of Our Friends Are Still In That World And I Do Feel Part Of That Generation Of People Who Were Rather Idealistic In The 70s And Became Disillusioned In The 80s. Not Just About Social Services Issues, But The World.