I Would Slay Dragons For

Trouble Seems To Follow Me Around, Waiting To Club Me With A Tire Iron.

No-pocket Jeans Are Only Slightly Less Irritating Than Thong Underwear.

Why Is It That All Cars Are Women?" He Asked. "because They're Fussy And Demanding," Answered Zee. "because If They Were Men, They'd Sit Around And Complain Instead Of Getting The Job Done," I Told Him.

See You Tomorrow,” He Said, Instead. “all Right.” Then, Impulsively, I Asked, “do You Have A Place To Sleep Tonight?” “sure,” He Said With A Smile, And Started Off As If He Had Somewhere To Be. I Could Have Bitten Off My Tongue Because I Pushed Him Into A Lie. Once He Started Lying To Me, It Would Be Harder To Get Him To Trust Me With The Truth. I Don’t Know Why It Works That Way, But It Does—at Least In My Experience.

Take A Note: It Usually Works Better If You Wait Until I Do Something Stupid Before Getting Mad At Me.