I Would Love For The

Beauty Is Not Between A Size 0 And A Size 8. It's Not A Number At All.

I Get To Do Stand-up Every Single Day. I Love That Live Energy Exchange Between The Audience And Myself, And To Get To Say The Things I Want To Say And Comment On.

I Collect Old Portraits. They're All Just Interesting Pictures Of People, And You Just Kind Of Wonder Who They Were And What They Were. There's A Guy - I Don't Know Who He Is, But He's Wearing A Suit. He's Got His Arms Folded, And He Looks Like He Sold Insurance Or Something. I'm Just Wondering Why Someone Painted Him.

I Do Like Men And I Had, You Know, A Guy In High School That I Wanted To Marry Desperately. He's The Mayor Of Some Small Town In Texas. I Could Be The Mayor's Wife Right Now.

Asking Who's The 'man' And Who's The 'woman' In A Same-sex Relationship Is Like Asking Which Chopstick Is The Fork.