I Work For Myself, Which

Men Are Sensitive In Strange Ways. If A Man Has Built A Fire And The Last Log Does Not Burn, He Will Take It Personally.

After You've Dated Someone It Should Be Legal To Stamp Them With What's Wrong With Them So The Next Person Doesn't Have To Start From Scratch.

Women Take Clothing Much More Seriously Than Men. I've Never Seen A Man Walk Into A Party And Say "oh, My God, I'm So Embarrassed; Get Me Out Of Here. There's Another Man Wearing A Black Tuxedo.

I Suffer From Peroxide Phobia. Every Time I've Gotten Near A Blond Woman, Something Of Mine Has Disappeared. Jobs, Boyfriends... One Time An Angora Sweater Leaped Right Off My Body.

Men Have Higher Body Temperatures Than Women. If Your Heating Goes Out In Winter, I Recommend Sleeping Next To A Man. Men Are Like Portable Heaters That Snore.