I Was In A Convenience

I Went To The Airport, I Put My Bag In The X-ray Machine, I Found Out My Bag Has Cancer. It Only Has Six More Months To Hold Stuff.

I Would Like It If Four People Did A Cartwheel All At Once... So I Can Make A Cart.

I Wrote My Friend A Letter Using A Highlighting Pen. But He Could Not Read It, He Thought I Was Trying To Show Him Certain Parts Of A Piece Of Paper.

As A Comedian, You Have To Start The Show Strong And You Have To End The Show Strong. Those Are The Two Key Elements. You Can't Be Like Pancakes. You're All Happy At First, But Then By The End, You're Sick Of 'em.

When You Start Out In Comedy, Or Probably In A Lot Of Things, You Want It To Happen Fast. You Don't Want To See Yourself Having To Do This For Seven Years Before You Start To Get Some Feedback.