I Was Drinking A Lot

I Learned The Word Non-conformist In Fourth Grade And Immediately Announced That I Would Grow Up To Become One.

I Really Bridled When Parks And Rec Became Popular And Woodworking Publications Wanted Me To Do Stuff With Them.

It's Irrelevant To Me If Other People Know Who I Am. I'm Just, I'm Really Happy. It Calms Me Down, Too. If You're On Top Of An Oilrig, Fighting With Politicians, Or Whatever - You Need A Bit Of Wisdom To Realize That You're Not Always Right, Or That You're Not Always Being Reasonable, Or You're Not Always Listening.

I Grew Up In A Small Town In Illinois, And My Dad Was A Basketball Coach. Thanks To Him, I Have Excellent Fundamentals In Both Basketball And Baseball.

The Key, I Would Say To Any Fledgling Humorist Starting Out, Is To Make Sure That Sloppiness Is Part Of Your Recipe. That Way They Come To Expect Fumbling And Clumsiness And They Say, "oh, It Must Be A Charming Part Of His Personality."