I Was Christmas Shopping And

Valentine's Day Money-saving Tips: Break Up On February 13th, Get Back Together On The 15th. In Place Of Bubble Bath, Use Lavender-scented Dish-washing Liquid. Forget Rose Petals. Sprinkle The Bed With Sliced Beets!

Right After The Show Tonight, I'm Going To The New York City Car Show. You Get To See The Models That Will Be Crashed Next Year By Drunken Secret Service Agents.

Traffic Signals In New York Are Just Rough Guidelines.

The Morning After I Had My Heart Bypass, The Doctor Called And Said, Soon You'll Be Able To Have Sex. I Said, I've Heard That For Years.

A Guy In Pennsylvania Was Arrested Because He Was Drunk In His Golf Cart Going From Bar To Bar. So They Arrested Him. I Said: Wait A Minute. Isn't That Golf?