I Was A High School

As Life's Pleasures Go, Food Is Second Only To Sex. Except For Salami And Eggs. Now That's Better Than Sex, But Only If The Salami Is Thickly Sliced.

Comedy Is A Reflection. We Create Nothing. We Set No Styles, No Standards. We're Reflections. It's A Distorted Mirror In The Fun House. We Watch Society. As Society Behaves, Then We Have The Ability To Make Fun Of It.

That's The Great Thing About New Year's, You Get To Be A Year Older. For Me, That Wasn't Such A Joke, Because My Birthday Was Always Around This Time. When I Was A Kid, My Father Used To Tell Me That Everybody Was Celebrating My Birthday. That's What The Trees Are All About.

I Think One Of The Big Things About Comedy Is The Ability For The Audience To Identify.

A Summary Of Every Jewish Holiday: They Tried To Kill Us, We Won, Let's Eat!