I Was A Christian. I

A Surprising Amount Of My Jokes Sound Very Implausible But Are True.

I Think They Got It Wrong With Saddam Hussein. They Thought He Had The A-bomb. Instead He Had A Bomb.

I Don't Think It's Any Coincidence That I Lost My Religious Faith And 'manned Up' In The Same Year. I Was Described Somewhere As A Lapsed Catholic, Which Is Funny Because I'm Not Going Back! I Want To Achieve Things Rather Than Live Life In An Animalistic Way.

Saying That You Don't Believe In Magic But Do Believe In God Is A Bit Like Saying You Don't Have Sex With Dogs, Except Labradors.

I Saw A Charity Appeal In The Guardian The Other Day, And It Read "little Zuki Has To Walk 13 Miles A Day Just To Fetch Water". And I Couldn't Help Thinking, She Should Move.