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History Is A State Of Yearning. I Yearn For Kay Lake Throughout This Entire Thing. There's An Essay I've Written Where I Talked About Living In The Past. There's A Whole Motif In The Book Of Then And Now. And I Lived There.

I'm Way Past The Idea Of Using Ideology Or Political View As A Gauge Of Human Character. I Simply Don't Believe It. And Many People, I Tend To Think Most People, Feel That Way. Since I Don't Have To Worry About It, I'm Happy.

I'm Trying To Be Less Bombastic. I Love My Books. I Think I've Done Things Nobody Else Has Done.

I Work Within The Framework Of A Very Concerted, Purely Driven Protestant Christian Mindset. I Had Dark Early Circumstances. I Went Inward. I Have A Sturdy Will. I Have A Big Heart. I'm A Decent Guy. And I Have A Great Gift. It's Blunted Me To The World In Many Ways.

My Role Relationship To The Event Will Continue To Mutate. My Relationship To My Mother Will Continue To Change As I Revise My Judgments Of Her Depending On What I Learn About Her. It Goes On. But I Feel No Less Obsessive About My Work And No Less Passionately Committed To The Life I Have Now, But I Feel Poised Inside. Which Is A Good Thing To Feel At 48.