I Wanted To Give The

I Guess The Real Reason That My Wife And I Had Children Is The Same Reason That Napoleon Had For Invading Russia: It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time.

I Don't Think You Can Bring The Races Together By Joking About The Differences Between Them. I'd Rather Talk About The Similarities, About What's Universal In Their Experiences.

Whenever Your Kids Are Out Of Control, You Can Take Comfort From The Thought That Even God's Omnipotence Did Not Extend To His Kids.

Criticizing Is Easy, Art Is Difficult.

I Once Asked My Father For A Dollar For The School Picnic. He Told Me How He Once Killed A Grizzly Bear With His Loose-leaf Notebook.