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I've Always Defined Myself As A Writer, I've Never Decided What It Was I Was Gonna Write. [...] I Always Fancied Myself One, But I'm Not. I'm So Far From A Writer.

Stand-up Is A Real Art Form In Itself And One That I Really Think To Be Good At You Have To Devote Your Entire Life To. It's The Really, Really Good Ones That End Up Getting To Do The Things That I Like To Do: Movies, Tv Shows, And Stuff Like That. It's A Really Hard Gig And It Just Never Called To Me.

I've Been An Apple Guy Since The Mid 80's And That's When I Was Like, "boy, You Guys Really Got Me Here. I Know Exactly What You're Doing, Right Down To Your Price Points."

I Remember Interviewing Someone I Actually Felt Bad For, And Therefore Didn't Want To Take An Ironic Stance Against Him. It Actually Turned Out To Be A Really Funny Piece.

Ethanol Is, In Its Pure Form, Just As Much Of A Sham As Oil.