I Tried To Log On

Those Two Pilots That Sped 150 Miles Past Their Minneapolis Destination Have Been Suspended. They Got Suspended Because They Were Looking At Their Laptops Instead Of Flying The Plane. Think About This -- Everybody Else On The Plane Has To Turn Off Their Laptops Except For The People Flying The Plane.

You Can't Stay Mad At Somebody Who Makes You Laugh.

A New Study Finds That Women Use Their Whole Brain When Listening And Men Only Use Half Of Their Brain. You See, Men Use The Other Half Of Their Brain To Come Up With Excuses. I Don't Think Women Use Their Whole Brain When Listening. I Think They Use Half Of It And The Other Half Is Used To Memorize What Men Are Saying So They Can Use It Against Them 10 Years Later!

Actually, You Know Who Gave The Shortest Inauguration Speech In History? George Washington. It Was Only Like Three Minutes Long. Well, Sure. George Washington Couldn't Tell A Lie.

Go Through Your Phone Book, Call People And Ask Them To Drive You To The Airport. The Ones Who Will Drive You Are Your True Friends. The Rest Aren't Bad People; They're Just Acquaintances.