I Thought You'd Like It,"

One Of The Reasons That I Think I Do Love To Write Is Because I Did Have A Difficult Childhood And Not So Great Teenage Years. It Always Helped Me Escape From My Problems.

Always Be True To Your Friends, Just As You Are To Yourself.

I've Come To The Conclusion That, Aside From Nazis, The Taliban, And Possibly The Honey Badger, There Is No One On The Planet More Merciless Than A Teenage Girl Once She's Decided She Dislikes You.

Sometimes Between Lunch And Dinner, When There's A Lull, Jill And Shaniqua And I Will Sit Around And Fantasize About What We'd Do If A Real Celebrity Walked Into The Place, Like Chad Michael Murray (although We've Gone Off Him A Bit Since His Divorce) Or Jared Padalecki, Or Even Prince William (you Never Know. He Could Have Gotten His Yacht Lost, Or Whatever.)

It's What's Known As An Origin Myth. What Happened To Me? That's No Myth.