I Think My Securities Far

I Used To Be A Folk Singer, But I Was... Dreadful. I Had A Voice Like A Goose Farting In The Fog.

Fame Is Being Asked To Sign Your Autograph On The Back Of A Cigarette Packet.

Chic Murray Once Told Me He Fell In The Street, And A Woman Said To Him, "did You Fall?" He Said, "no, I'm Tryin' To Break A Bar Of Chocolate In My Back Pocket."

Where Do You Go When You Die? The Same Place You Were Before You Were Born; Nowhere! It's Over!

Before You Judge A Man, Walk A Mile In His Shoes. After That Who Cares?... He's A Mile Away And You've Got His Shoes!