I Think America Causes Cancer,

I Was Watching Ashlee Simpson On Jay's Show Last Night... She Was Really Singing, And I Was Saying, 'bring Back The Lip Synch'... And It Struck Me That Ashlee Simpson Is A Lot Like George Bush - Because She Wouldn't Even Really Be In The Big Leagues If It Wasn't For Family Connections, And She's In Way Over Her Head. And She Doesn't Know What To Do. And She Blamed Her Band.

Did You See Britney Spears At The Video Music Awards? I Don't Want To Say That That Performance Was A Disaster, But After The Show, I Saw Rudy Giuliani Having His Picture Taken Standing On Her.

I Think I Know Now Why We Are Occupying Iraq. In Case We Have To Sell America And Move To A Smaller Country.

Failing To Warn The Citizens Of A Looming Weapon Of Mass Destruction- And That's What Global Warming Is- In Order To Protect Oil Company Profits, Well, That Fits For Me The Definition Of Treason.

In Washington, The Air Quality Today Was Described As 'red.'...you Know What 'red' Is? It's Bad For Everyone. Not Just Old People, Sick People And Babies. When It's Just Bad For Old People, Sick People And Babies, That's Called A Republican Budget.