I Started Writing When I

We Can't Profess Love Without Talking Through Hand Puppets.

A Week After My Drugs Ran Out, I Left My Bed To Perform At The College, Deciding At The Last Minute To Skip Both The Doughnut Toss And The March Of The Headless Plush Toys. Instead, I Just Heated Up A Skillet Of Plastic Soldiers, Poured A Milkshake Over My Head And Called It A Night.

You Meet People Who Say, "oh, I'd Like To Do Such-and-such, But I Don't Have The Time." But It Always Seemed To Me Like You Make The Time. And If You Have A Wife Or A Job, If You Have Kids Or Whatever, You Find A Way. If You Really Want To Do It, You Make The Time.

Paul Rudnick Is A Champion Of Truth (and Love And Great Wicked Humor) Whom We Ignore At Our Peril.

Real Love Amounts To Withholding The Truth, Even When You're Offered The Perfect Opportunity To Hurt Someone's Feelings.