I Stared At Him (dionysus).

Great, I Thought. We Just Blowtorched A National Monument.

Most Helmsmen Would’ve Been Satisfied With A Pilot’s Wheel Or A Tiller. Leo Had Also Installed A Keyboard, Monitor, Aviation Controls From A Learjet, A Dubstep Soundboard, And Motion-control Sensors From A Nintendo Wii. He Could Turn The Ship By Pulling On The Throttle, Fire Weapons By Sampling An Album, Or Raise Sails By Shaking His Wii Controllers Really Fast. Even By Demigod Standards, Leo Was Seriously Adhd.

Hermes Rolled His Eyes. "surely You've Seen Network Tv Lately. It's Clear They Don't Know Whether They're Coming Or Going. That's Because Janus Is In Charge Of Programming. He Loves Ordering New Shows And Cancelling Them After Two Episodes. God Of Beginnings And Endings, After All. Anyway, I Was Bringing Him Some Magic Doormats, And I Was Double-parked -" "you Have To Worry About Double-parking?" "will You Let Me Tell The Story?" "sorry."

Ah, Mastery Of The Five Elements!" "is That The One We Want?" I Asked. "no, But A Good One. How To Tame The Five Essential Elements Of The Universe - Earth, Air, Water, Fire, And Cheese!" "cheese?

But How Do We Even Get To The Land Of The Dead?” I Asked. “i Mean…without Dying.