I Remember Saying In College

I Have To Stay True To Myself.

I Touched An Oscar Once. Friend Of Mine Has One, For Writing. As Soon As I Touched It, He Said, Now You'll Never Win One.

I've Always Wanted To Be An Actor. I Didn't Get Into This Game To Be The Best Improviser In The World. I Didn't Choose Improv As A Stepping Stone, It Just Happened To Become One.

Pat Obrien Knows Nothing. Hes On The Hell Express.

I Always Fancied Myself More Of An Actor Than A Comedian Before I Realized That Only Assholes Make That Kind Of Distinction.