I Read One Chapter Of

President Obama Said That If He Could Have Any Superpower, He'd Want The Ability To Speak Any Language. That's So Everyone In The World Could Tell Him He Picked One Of The Lamest Possible Superpowers.

President Obama Had Beer With Four Unemployed Construction Workers. And Obama Asked The Guys What Was It Like To Lose Their Jobs, And They Were Like, 'oh, You'll See.'

New Scientist Magazine Reported That In The Future, Cars Could Be Powered By Hazelnuts. That's Encouraging, Considering An Eight-ounce Jar Of Hazelnuts Costs About Nine Dollars. Yeah, I've Got An Idea For A Car That Runs On Bald Eagle Heads And Faberge Eggs.

Today Google Celebrated Its 13th Anniversary.... That's Right, Google Turned 13 Years Old. Which Explains Why Today When I Searched For Something, Google Was Just Like, "i Don't Know. Stop Asking Me Questions! I'm Going Upstairs.

In An Interview Last Night, Rick Perry Criticized Mitt Romney For Flip-flopping On The Issues. Romney Said That Perry Has No Idea What He's Talking About. Then He Added, 'but He Does Know What He's Talking About.'