I Promise I'll Do Anything

The Tendency In Comedy Is To Have A Character Who's Stupid Get More Stupid, Because You're Trying To Top Yourself And Not Just Repeat.

I Don't Mind Sharing The Blame If She'll Just Admit She Started It.

My Standard Comment Is, If You Don't Want Your Kids To Be Like Bart Simpson, Don't Act Like Homer Simpson.

A Woman Knows All About Her Children. She Knows About Dentist Appointments, Soccer Games, Romances, Best Friends, Location Of Friend's Houses, Favorite Foods, Secret Fears And Hopes And Dreams. A Man Is Vaguely Aware Of Some Short People Living In The House.

Warning Signs That Lover Is Bored: 1. Passionless Kisses 2. Frequent Sighing 3. Moved, Left No Forwarding Address.