I Only Know One Story.

Someone's Parents Have Been Singing Entirely The Wrong Sort Of Songs.

You Lack The Requisite Spine And Testicular Fortitude To Study Under Me.

To Be Both Rich And Handsome Was Bad Enough. But To Have A Voice Like Honey Over Warm Bread On Top Of That Was Simply Inexcusable.

Do You Know What It's Like To Run Spellcheck For Six Hours? It's Like A Party In Purgatory. A Party In Purgatory Where All They Have To Drink Is Sugar-free Kool-aid, And The Only Game To Play Is Monopoly, And None Of Your Friends Show Up.

If I Seem To Wander, If I Seem To Stray, Remember That True Stories Seldom Take The Straightest Way