I Never Think, 'where Am

I Thought I Was Funny As A Kid. I Used To Play Tricks On My Brothers - I'd Tie A Two-shilling Piece To A Bit Of Cotton, Then Pull It Away As They Went To Grab It.

People Say You Should Read Your Criticism Because It Will Make You A Better Person But It Doesn't. It Just Makes You A Sad Bitter Old Showbiz Nightmare.

As A Comic And As A Nurse, It's Important To Look Calm On The Surface When You're Absolutely Crapping Yourself Inside. So, If Someone Is Waving A Machete At You, Which Has Happened To Me When I Was A Nurse, It's Important To Make That Person Feel That You're In Control.

I Went On The Pill When I Was 16, Put On Four Stone... So That Proved To Be A Very Effective Contraceptive.

It's Actually Very Hard When You're Settled In One Place To Completely Uproot Yourself And Go.