I Never Think Of Myself

People Think "the Office" Was Improvised, But It's All On The Page. We Do That Because What We Found Is That In The Early Days Of "the Office," We Went In With It Sort Of 80 Percent Scripted And We Did Some Things And Then We Improv'd And We Did - You Know, And It Gets A Laugh On The Floor Because It's The First Time They've Heard It.

Someone Asked Me What Three Things I Would Save If My House Was On Fire. I Said My Cat, My Salamander And One Of The Twins.

I've Never Done Anything For The Common Consensus. I Do Things To Please Me. If You Are Happy With Something Yourself, You Become Bulletproof.

Someone Trying To Be Funny Probably Isn't As Funny As Someone Who Doesn't Want To Be Funny But Is And Can't Help It. Someone Being Serious Or Angry Might Be Funny. If You Get Angry, The First Thing I Want To Do Is Laugh Because I Don't Know Why You're Getting That Angry. Pathos Makes Me Laugh, Funerals Make Me Laugh.

We Shouldn't Even Need The Word 'atheism'. If People Didn't Invent Ridiculous Imaginary Gods, Rational People Wouldn't Have To Deny Them.