I Met This Girl, She

The Only Way I Could Get My Old Cd Into Stores Is If I Took One In And Leave It. "sir, You Forgot This." "no, I Did Not. That Is For Sale. Please Alphabetize It."

I've Always Wanted To Have A Suitcase Handcuffed To My Wrist. That's Not A Full Joke There! It's Filler.

I Make Myself A Bowl Of Instant Oatmeal, And Then I Don't Do Anything For An Hour. Why Do I Need The Instant Oatmeal? I Could Get The Regular Oatmeal And Feel Productive.

I Can't Wait To Get Off The Stage, Because I've Got Some Lifesavers In My Pocket And Pineapple Is Next!

Imagine If The Headless Horseman Had A Headless Horse. That Would Be Chaos. I Would Think That If You Were The Headless Horseman's Horse, You Would Be Very Confused. "i Don't Think This Dude Can See."