I Met This Girl, She

This One Commercial Said, "forget Everything You Know About Slipcovers." So I Did, And It Was A Load Off Of My Mind. Then The Commercial Tried To Sell Slipcovers, But I Didn't Know What They Were!

I Don't Have A Microwave Oven, But I Do Have A Clock That Occasionally Cooks Stuff.

I’d Like To See A Forklift Lift A Crate Of Forks. It’d Be So Damn Literal! You Are Using That Machine To It’s Exact Purpose!

I Was At A Bar, And This Guy Bumped Into Me, And He Did Not Apologize, And He Said, "move!" I Thought That Was Rude, So I Said, "go To Hell!" Then I Started To Run. He Caught Up To Me. He Had A Mustache, A Goatee, A Pair Of Earrings, Sunglasses, A Ponytail And He Was Wearing A Hat. He Said, "hey, You Got A Lot Of Nerve!" I Said, "hey, You Got A Lot Of... Cranium Accessories!"

A Sleeping Bag Is A Tortilla For A Human.