I Mean, Yeah, I Want

I Have Been A Big Guy All My Life, I Am Not Going To Lose A Bunch Of Weight, Because Then You're Like That Weird Fat Person That Got Skinny But Still Has A Big Head. I Don't Want To Do That. So I'm Just Trying.

As A Comic, I've Heard Gunshots While I'm Trying To Get To Sleep. I've Performed Where People Wanted To Do You Harm After The Show Because Of Something You Said.

Look, You Know, You Can't Please Everybody. I'm A Stand-up Comic. I Know That. It Doesn't Matter How Funny You Are And How Well You Do, There's Two People That Are Going To Walk Out Of There Hating You.

You Know, I'm Playing The Mirage In Vegas, The Main Room... About 5 Percent Of All Comics End Up As The Main Headliner On The Vegas Strip, So That's A Big Deal For Me. Getting To Do My Stand-up The Way I Have This Summer Is Really What I've Dreamed Of Since I Was About 10 Years Old.

Everybody Wants To Be A Better Version Of Themselves - Everybody. And I Hope One Day I Can Lose Some Weight. Maybe, Who Knows, I'll Hire Myself A Trainer And A Fancy Cook. In Five Years, Maybe I'll Be An Action Hero. Then Again, Maybe I'll Just Be This Guy. Who Knows? But The Fun Part Is Embracing The Human Side Of That.