I'm Too Young For A

Tori's My Legal Name. My Niece And Nephews, They All Call Me Aunt Ellen, Because I Went By My Middle Name Years Ago, Before I Turned 18.

Anything A Wife Should Do, I'm Terrible At. Anything A Mistress Should Do, I'll Try.

Robert Plant Asked Me To Marry Him, But I Said 'no.' I Mean, You Just Don't Want To Marry Someone You've Wanted To Do It With Since You Were Thirteen, Because, Well, If He Farts, I Would, Like, Die!

I'm A Daughter Of A Minister And I Love Chasing The Dark. That Which Is Hidden. I Like Licking It Like Ice Cream

I Can't Have Discussions About It Anymore, I Just Can't. When Someone Asks Me If I've Found Jesus, I Say, 'yeah, I Saw Him At A Nirvana Concert A Couple Of Years Ago.' It's Like, Jesus Has Got Things To Do, He's Got A Ten O'clock. He's Not Going To Fix Things For Me, I Have To Fix Things For Myself, So I Try And Have A Sense Of Humor About It And Nobody Finds My Humor Very Amusing. We've Just Got To Lighten Up On The Savior Bit, Folks. You Know, Get Off The Cross, We Need The Wood.