I'm Obsessed With Beards. First

I Have Haters. I Have So Many Haters.

I Don't Even Think Of Myself As A Quote, Unquote Star - That's Really Douchey. I Think Of Myself As Just Like . . . A Dance Commander. You Have To Have Dance Parties All Day And Night, And You Always Have To Be Excited About Having A Dance Party. You Have To Have A Dance Party In Milan One Day, And Then Wake Up And Have A Dance Party At, Like, Four In The Morning On National Television In L.a. The Next Day. The Hours Are Insane.

I'm Obsessed With Beards. First Of All, Beards Make You Look Like More Of An Animal. Second, I Kind Of Like Biting Beards; It's A Pastime Of Mine. And When I Make Out With A Dude Who Has A Beard - Who Are The Only Kinds Of Dudes I Make Out With - Then My Glitter Gets Stuck In Their Beards, And Then No Other Chick Will Make Out With Them For At Least Three Days.

I Just Think That Gay Men Have Much Better Taste Than Any Straight Man I Have Met. I Have Never Gotten Any Grief About Having A Good Time, Being Unapologetic, And Irreverent From A Gay Man.

Life Is Short And The Nights Are Long, And Tonight I Moved On.