The Worst Thing To Do

College Was A Wonderful Time - Except, Of Course, When It Was Trying To Teach You Things.

You Can Teach An Old Dog New Tricks. You Just Don't Want To See The Dog Doing Them.

I'm Not The Boss Of My House. I Don't Know How I Lost It, I Don't Know When I Lost It, I Don't Really Think I Ever Had It. But I've Seen The Boss's Job...and I Don't Want It!

I Love It When Mothers Get So Mad They Can't Remember Your Name. "come Here, Roy, Er, Rupert, Er, Rutabaga... What Is Your Name, Boy? And Don't Lie To Me, Because You Live Here, And I'll Find Out Who You Are."

As A Comedian, I Can Walk Out In Front Of 5000 People And Not Worry About A Thing. Not A Thing, Believe Me. But To Stand Up A Face A Camera And Crew Of Maybe 15 Guys And Get Up Tight About It - To Me That's Weird.