I'm Not A Great Joke

The Worst Thing About Halloween Is, Of Course, Candy Corn. It's Unbelievable To Me. Candy Corn Is The Only Candy In The History Of America That's Never Been Advertised. And There's A Reason. All Of The Candy Corn That Was Ever Made Was Made In 1911. And So, Since Nobody Eats That Stuff, Every Year There's A Ton Of It Left Over.

I've Got Stuff About Airline Mergers, Which Just Shows That My Stand-up Is Getting More Insane By The Minute.

There Should Be A Law That You Can't Shut Down The Government - That You Don't Have That Power.

I'm Not A Big Birthday Guy; I Never Have Been.

Saying That The Palestinian People Aren't Really A People - That's Not A Zany Thing To Say. That's A Psychotic Thing To Say In The Midst Of All Of The Politics We Live Through On A Daily Basis.