I'm Not A Good Mother

You Think That God Positioned You Here So You Can Just Have It All To Yourself? God Blesses You To Become A Blessing. That's The Deal.

I Tell People I'm A Stand-up Comedian Two Hours A Week. The Rest Of The Time, I'm Somebody's Husband, I'm Somebody's Father. I'm A Man. I Take Great Pride In That.

The Best Timed Joke Or The Best Timed Phrase Comes At Spontaneous Moments And Just Relies On Me As The Host To Be Very Quick, And That's What I Do.

You Can Take Lessons To Become Almost Anything: Flying Lessons, Piano Lessons, Skydiving Lessons, Acting Lessons, Race Car Driving Lessons, Singing Lessons. But There's No Class For Comedy. You Have To Be Born With It. God Has To Give You This Gift.

All You Have To Do Is Speak Up. Tell Him Straight Up: "i Need You Here To Protect And Provide For Us, To Give Us Security In Our Lives, To Help Raise These Children, To Set An Example For This Boy, Who Needs To See What Real Men Do, And For This Girl, Who Needs To Know What A Real Man Is So She Can Find One Of Her Own Someday. I Need You To Be The Head Of This Family." Lay It Out Like This, And Your Requirements Will Trump His Mother's Every Time.