I'm An Elvis Fan Because

I Used To Say To My Auntie, 'you Throw My Fu*kin' Poetry Out, And You'll Regret It When I'm Famous,' And She Threw The Bast*rd Stuff Out. I Never Forgave Her For Not Treating Me Like A Fu*kin' Genius Or Whatever I Was When I Was A Child.

I Don't Believe In Beatles, I Just Believe In Me.

When I Was About Twelve I Used To Think I Must Be A Genius, But Nobody's Noticed. If There Is Such A Thing As A Genius, I Am One, And If There Isn't I Don't Care.

I Can't Play Guitar, But I Can Sure Make It Howl.

Before Elvis There Was Nothing.