I'm Always Ready For Tv.

You Can't Be Bad Ass In A Car That Kills Gas Like I Kill Tacos.

I Know Enough Football To Know That's Funny!

There's 5 Levels Of Fatness! Fluffy Is One Of The Levels. There's Big, Healthy, Husky, Fluffy And Damn.

I Got Off The Plane - I Was Walking And Cooking At The Same Time.

I Go On The Road All The Time, But I'm Only Performing For Two Hours A Night, And Then I'll Do A Meet-and-greet, And Then I'll Get A Bite To Eat, Get Drunk, Pass Out, Wake Up The Next Day, Sleeping The Next Day, Sleeping Off The Hangover, And Then I'm In The Next City.