I'm Always Cribbing From Real

Everybody's Got One Killer Story. It Doesn't Take Talent To Tell That Story, It Just Takes Experience.

People Always Ask Me If I Hate The Nuns. Do I Make My Movies Extra Dirty To Piss Them Off? I Always Say No, That's Not The Point. To A Catholic, A Movie Is Only Dirty If It Makes You Want To Have Sex More. If It Makes You Feel Sick, Disgusted, Ashamed Of Your Own Body, Then It's Not A Dirty Movie At All. It's A Catholic Movie. And I Make Very Catholic Movies.

Stop…stop, That’s The Next Generation Of Fans… How Dare You Pass Judgment On Those 12-year-old Girls Who Like Vampires! They Need To Be Encouraged Because In Six Years They’ll Be 18-year-old Girls Who Like Vampires And Are Into All Sorts Of Goth-permissive And Whatnot. Don’t Poo-poo It. There’s A Plan, And It’s Working.

It's Like A Dream Come True. When Somebody Is Paying You To Talk About Yourself, You've Won.

The Writer Crafts Their Ideal World. In My World, Everyone Has Really Long Conversations Or Just Picks Apart Pop Culture To Death And Everyone Talks In Monologue.