I'm A Satirist, So I've

My Grandfather Did Not Travel Across 4,000 Miles Of The Atlantic Ocean To See This Country Overrun By Immigrants. He Did It Because He Killed A Man Back In Ireland.

Thanksgiving Is A Magical Time Of Year When Families Across The Country Join Together To Raise America's Obesity Statistics. Personally, I Love Thanksgiving Traditions: Watching Football, Making Pumpkin Pie, And Saying The Magic Phrase That Sends Your Aunt Storming Out Of The Dining Room To Sit In Her Car.

The Most Common Thing That Real Reporters Say To Me Is, "i Wish I Could Say What You Say." What I Don't Understand Is, Why Can't They Say What I Say, Even In Their Own Way? Does That Mean They Want To Be Able To Name Certain Bald Contradictions Or Hypocrisies That Politicians Have?

Think Books Aren't Scary? Well, Think About This: You Can't Spell "book" Without "boo!

Republicans Will Need To Work Hard To Capture The Latino Vote Instead Of Their Current Strategy Of Capturing Latinos.