I'm A Huge Kevin Youkilis

Here's The Problem With Easter. The Catholic Church Needs To Pick A Date Because It Keeps Moving. And I Think The Reason They Always Have Easter Moving To Different Dates Is To Catch Us.

When I Was Doing Standup, I Always Wanted To Get Out Of The Standup World And Take It Back Into The Theatrical World, Like With "no Cure For Cancer."

My Charity Is In The Business Of Helping Firefighters In Any Way That We Can. For Instance, After 9/11 We Were The Second-fastest Charity To Raise And Distribute Money To The Widows And Surviving Family Members Of The 343 Firefighters Who Died That Day.

I'd Love To Play In A Red Sox Game. It Would Be So Awesome To Actually Walk Out On The Field And Play, Just For One Inning. I'd Also Steal Everything I Could Get My Hands On In The Clubhouse, Which Is Why They Won't Let Me Do It.

You Just Can't Win. Men Have Very Recent Land Mines In Their Heads. Women Have Recorded Conversations And Photographs In Their Heads From 15 Years Ago.