I'm A Big Fan Of

I Spend A Lot Of Time Alone And My Wife Understands That I Need To Be Alone. I Enjoy Being Alone. But I'm Never Lonely.

It's A Great Day In America When White People, Black People And Latinos Can All Come Together And Pick On Another Minority.

The Average Late-night Viewer Is In Their Mid-50s And The Average Viewer Of Tbs Is In Their 30s And Is Largely African-american And Hispanic, Already, Before I Even Get There.

If The Worst Thing That Can Happen Is That Nobody Laughs, Then I Can Deal With That, Because The Worst Thing That Can Happen At The Factory Is That I Could Lose A Limb Or Be Crushed By A Huge Machine.

[there's] A Joke That I've Done Forever: 'nowadays They Say That The Largest Majority Of People Will Be Latino And You'll Tell Scary Stories To Your Grandkids: "a Long Time Ago When I Was Growing Up, There Used To Be People Who Were White," And The Kid Says, "really?" And You Say, "yeah, Like The Man Who Cuts Our Grass."' I've Had That Line Forever And I Love It.