I Love My Fellow Creatures

I'm Very Good At Integral And Differential Calculus, I Know The Scientific Names Of Beings Animalculous; In Short, In Matters Vegetable, Animal, And Mineral, I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-general.

I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-general, I've Information Vegetable, Animal, And Mineral, I Know The Kings Of England, And I Quote The Fights Historical, From Marathon To Waterloo, In Order Categorical.

I've An Irritating Chuckle, I've A Celebrated Sneer, I've An Entertaining Snigger, I've A Fascinating Leer; To Everybody's Prejudice I Know A Thing Or Two; I Can Tell A Woman's Age In Half A Minute--and I Do

On My Face Extended Flat I Was Walloped With A Cat For Listening At The Key-hole Of The Door.

Life's A Pudding Full Of Plums.