I Love Being A Dad.

What's The Deal With Ovaltine? It Comes In A Round Container, You Put It In A Round Glass, Why Don't They Call It Roundtine?

We Sold 'seinfeld' All Over The World But It Was A Very Specific Kind Of Show. In Some Countries It Went Down Really Well, In Others They Hated It.

The Swiss Have An Interesting Army. Five Hundred Years Without A War. Pretty Impressive. Also Pretty Lucky For Them. Ever Seen That Little Swiss Army Knife They Have To Fight With? Not Much Of A Weapon There. Corkscrews. Bottle Openers. ‘come On, Buddy, Let’s Go. You Get Past Me, The Guy In The Back Of Me, He’s Got A Spoon. Back Off, I’ve Got The Toe Clippers Right Here.

The Greatest Thing About Being A Comedian Is Knowing Other Comedians. And You Get To Talk To Them. Its The Most Fun.

What The Hell, I'll Just Eat Some Trash.