I Like To Read My

When I Got Married, The Sun Ran The Headline: "here Comes The Bride, All Fat And Wide." Luckily, It Was A Few Days After The Wedding - But It Was Still Hideous To Read At A Great Romantic Moment.

Regular Panelists On Shows Can Be Terrifying. They Own That Space, And Many Guest Comics Suspect They Are Favoured In The Edit, While Their Own Hilarious Jokes End Up Being Ejected Into The Ether.

You Don't Really See Ugly People That Are Old, Or A Bit Grotty And Smelly, In The Media. If A Martian Came Down, They Would Think We Were All Tall, Thin, Attractive And Wealthy.

The Way To A Man's Heart Is Through His Hanky Pocket With A Breadknife.

I Must Be An Anorexic Because An Anorexic Looks In The Mirror And Sees A Fat Person.