I Like Groaning. That Means

It Could Be Anything. It Could Be Jesus And It Could Be The Furby And It Could Be The Lint That Lives In My Navel, But It's Probably Not. Whatever It Is, I Doubt We As Humans On Earth Could Have Any Perception Of It While We're Here. So, Why Give Yourself A Headache Thinking About It. Just Be A Good Person. That's What An Ethicist Is.

Ronald Reagan Basically Legalized Every Illegal Immigrant In This Country. I Just Like To Bring This Up Because Every Week I Like To Make Republican Heads Explode About How They Love Ronald Reagan, But Would Despise Everything He Did.

What A Day For The Tea Party People. Did You See That? America's Parks And Fairgrounds Were Lost In A Sea Of Man-boobs. They Were Venting Their Anger And Rage Against Taxes, Which, Of Course, In Most Cases For Them Went Down. Protesting Their Taxes Went Down, But You Know, Why Let The Truth Spoil A Perfectly Good Klan Rally.

To Those People Who Say, 'my Father Is Alive Because Of Animal Experimentation,' I Say, 'yeah, Well, Good For You. This Dog Died So Your Father Could Live.' Sorry, But I Am Just Not Behind That Kind Of Trade-off.

Ebola Has Arrived In New York City. And I Say, 'if It Can Make It There...it Can Make It Anywhere!'