I Like Doing Stand-up And

You Can Say, 'can I Use Your Bathroom?' And Nobody Cares. But If You Ask, 'can I Use The Plop-plop Machine?' It Always Breaks The Conversation.

You Know, Men And Women Are A Lot Alike In Certain Situations. Like When They're Both On Fire - They're Exactly Alike.

So, I Travel A Lot. I Hate Traveling, Mostly 'cause My Dad Used To Beat Me With A Globe.

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Sometimes It's Hard To Tell If A Joke Is Working Or Not For The First Couple Of Minutes.