I Know These Jokes Aren't

Today Mitt Romney Is 68 Years Old. It's Kind Of Sad, A 68-year-old Guy With No Job, No Future - Wait A Minute, That's Me.

Osama Bin Laden Has Ten Look-alikes To Fool Us Americans. Ten Look-alikes, And He's Married To Five Of Them.

Mitt Romney Is Running For President Again. That Will Be Attempt No. 3. Well, Everybody Needs A Hobby. He's Almost Certainly Running, And I'm Almost Certainly Retiring, So I Don't Care.

I'm So Excited For My Son. On Christmas Morning I Want To See His Face, To Be There When He Opens The Gifts. I Want The See What My Assistants Got Him For Christmas.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Met With President Bush. It's Amazing If You Think About It. It Was The Terminator And The One-term-inator.