I Just Think It's A

I Love The Process Of Being Alone In A Room.

When Something Is Staring You In The Face In Your Life And You See It With Your Own Two Eyes And Feel It Within Your Heart Only A Fool Doesn't Believe It To Be True.

I Think Of How And Why And What Happened And The Thoughts Come Easily, But The Answers Don't.

I Want A Drink. I Want Fifty Drinks. I Want A Bottle Of The Purest, Strongest, Most Destructive, Most Poisonous Alcohol On Earth. I Want Fifty Bottles Of It. I Want Crack, Dirty And Yellow And Filled With Formaldehyde. I Want A Pile Of Powder Meth, Five Hundred Hits Of Acid, A Garbage Bag Full Of Mushrooms, A Tube Of Glue Bigger Than A Truck, A Pool Of Gas Large Enough To Drown In. I Want Something Anything Whatever However As Much As I Can.

I Close My Eyes And I Take A Deep Breath And I Think About My Life And How I Ended Up This Way. I Think About The Ruin, Devastation And Wreckage I Have Caused To Myself And To Others. I Think About Self-hatred And Self-loathing. I Think About How And Why And What Happened And The Thoughts Come Easily, But The Answers Don't.